Sophie Squeaks

Sophie Squeaks
(a journey to rescue our daughter from Autism)

Sophie squeaks, she also talks to a world that is seen and heard only in the shadows of her mind. She frequently seems typical …. Unless you catch her chatting to her non-blue tooth buddies …. Or hear her say her own version of “I want an oompha loompa now daddy”.

Sophie has Autism …. I really still can’t even write the word …. So bear with me if I call it other things along the way….

Along the way started when Sophie was a bit over 2. Let me say in my most motherly voice “she was perfect”, milestone hitting, pincer grasping, perfect. Then she faded away. Through this blog, I want to share the disappearance of our daughter. How one day the ringlets from her beautiful dark head stopped gleefully bouncing and hung solemnly on her cheeks as if they too had regressed into her own dark world.

“Sophie…. Mama’s home” I put my briefcase down …. It’s February, Sophie was almost two. “Soph, it’s mama” …. Dear God …. She’s deaf! How could I have not noticed this before?? I spent the next weeks dropping pots and pans next to her …. Tickle me Elmo was employed to jostle and cajole. After a few weeks of “testing” I came to the conclusion that she was “selectively deaf” a term I coined to refer to her lack of response ….her total lack of response.
How did our perfect little girl leave?

Fast forward. I start this blog just after Sophie’s 8th birthday …. After years of struggle, years of tantrums, sleepless nights and fear…. Lots of fear.

I start this blog, as we start a new journey …. The journey to bring Sophie back. I want to document, as we begin the daunting process of bio-medical intervention. I want to go back and recount the loneliness, the desperation and the purest joy that comes in the form of being Sophie’s parent.

I want you to know that Autism is an epidemic, that my eyes refused to see, but now can never sleep peacefully until I get our daughter back.

So this morning, while she slept …. I took a deep breath and gave her her first shot …. I whispered in her ear, under her curls …. “Sophie, come back to me”.